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"The Office" is full of funny, sarcastic, and touching observations about life, even though it takes place in a made-up office. People all over the world watch it, which shows that business comedy can be funny and teach you something at the same time. A lot of people love the show's catchphrases, which are also known as "The Office quotes."

The Office quotes are funny and teach us something deep about life at the same time by using the many things that happen in an office. Michael Scott's bad leadership and Dwight Schrute's strange habits give the characters' conversation the unique mix of funny and sad that is office life.

Quotes from "The Office" are important because they can make you laugh and cheer you up when you're doing something boring at work. Aside from making us laugh, they teach us important lessons about being strong, getting along with others, and being able to handle new things. These lines not only make people laugh, but they also teach useful lessons about work that are necessary in the fast-paced world of work today.

 

Table Of Content

The Office Quotes

These are some of the best, most memorable quotes from "The Office". They perfectly encapsulate the humour, wisdom, and sometimes, the absurdity, of this hilarious TV show.

  1. "The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends."

  2. "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." 

  3. "Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way." 

  4. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

  5. "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica." 

  6. "You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take." 

  7. "I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out." 

  8. "I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good." 

  9. "Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year." 

  10. "There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?"

  11. "I am Beyoncé, always." — Michael Scott

  12. "I'm nice to everyone because I constantly live in fear that someone will poison me." 

  13. "I feel God in this Chili’s tonight." 

  14. "I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat." 

  15. "I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!”

  16. "That's what she said!" 

  17. "Prison Mike says, 'The worst thing about prison was the Dementors!'

  18. "I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted." 

  19. "No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them." 

  20. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." 

Funny Quotes From The Office 

These quotes are sure to bring a smile to any fan of "The Office"!

  1. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." — Michael Scott

  2. "'Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.' What is going on?!" — Jim Halpert impersonating Dwight

  3. "I talk a lot, so I've learned to tune myself out." — Kelly Kapoor

  4. "Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica." — Jim Halpert when impersonating Dwight Schrute

  5. "The worst thing about prison was the...was the dementors." — Michael Scott impersonating 'Prison Mike'

  6. "I'm not a woman. I'm a horse." — Michael Scott

  7. "In the wild, there is no healthcare. In the wild healthcare is, 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me. I'm dead.'" — Dwight Schrute

  8. "I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good." — Michael Scott

  9. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." — Andy Bernard

  10. "'You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take' - Wayne Gretzky" - Michael Scott

  11. "I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!" — Michael Scott

  12. "That's what she said!" — Michael Scott

  13. "Should have burned this place down when I had the chance." — Michael Scott

  14. "I am fast. To give you a reference point, I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther." — Dwight Schrute

  15. "Oh God, my mind is going a mile an hour." — Michael Scott

  16. "Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked: is there no limit to what he won't notice?" — Jim Halpert

  17. "I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted." — Kevin Malone

  18. "I am Beyoncé, always." — Michael Scott

  19. "If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die." — Stanley Hudson

  20. "I wish I could menstruate. If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore." — Dwight Schrute

Andy The Office Quotes

These fun and witty lines fully encapsulate Andy Bernard's humour and charm in "The Office".

  1. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

  2. "Beer me!"

  3. "Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy-tale wedding."

  4. "I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter that makes stairs."

  5. "Break me off a piece of that ... football cream?"

  6. "I just lost all my clients, I lost my dignity, I lost my sense of self. I can't...I've been crying so much, I can't possibly be hydrated."

  7. "Just once, I'd like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?"

  8. "The eyes are the groin of the head."

  9. "I went to Cornell. You ever heard of it? I graduated in four years, I never studied once, I was drunk the whole time."

  10. "Someone will die."

  11. "Of fun."

  12. "I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penis'd, debutante."

  13. "Andy Bernard. Pros: I can live anywhere I want. Cons: I cannot stand living anywhere I want."

  14. "If I had created a website with this many problems, I'd commit seppuku. karate chop"

  15. "Andy Bernard does not lose contests, he wins them, or he quits them because they're unfair."

  16. "I'm Nard Dog, you're Tuna. What's up with that?"

  17. "I am about to do something very bold in this job that I've never done before … try."

  18. "You dating anybody? You wanna try dating me? I bet you do, think about it."

  19. "No, I'm not dating Erin. She is dating other men, and I am just having meaningless sex. Like the old days."

  20. "Tell your faromore I said hi … unless it's a dude. Then you can tell him to back off."

Best Dwight Quotes From The Office

Each of these quotes highlight Dwight's unique perspective on life, making them a hit among fans of "The Office."

  1. "Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!"

  2. "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing."

  3. "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica."

  4. "I am ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me."

  5. "Before I do anything I ask myself, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing."

  6. "I'm not in the business of caring about people's feelings. I'm in the business of making sales."

  7. "In the wild, there is no healthcare. Healthcare is, 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion eats me and I'm dead.' Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead."

  8. "I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. I was mortified."

  9. "Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will."

  10. "Yes, hello. I was just wondering, does the president have to call me before he comes over, or can he just show up?"

  11. "Today, smoking saves lives."

  12. "It's a real shame because studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work."

  13. "I am fast. To give you a reference point, I'm somewhere between a snake and a mongoose … and a panther."

  14. "Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms."

  15. "Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses … second only to the neck."

  16. "Some people think it's cool to not care about stuff. I think it's equally as cool, if not cooler, to care about stuff."

  17. "If I could menstruate, I'd join the fun. A uterus does not matter."

  18. "I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted."

  19. "I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated."

  20. "Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair."

Inspirational Quotes From The Office

These "The Office" quotes offer a mix of humour, wisdom, and a bit of unconventional inspiration that have helped to make the series a beloved part of pop culture.

  1. "You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take." — Michael Scott quoting Wayne Gretzky

  2. "I'm not a quitter. I've done everything I've ever done in my life." — Kelly Kapoor

  3. "I realized that I'm searching, searching for what I really want in life. And you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is." — Jim Halpert

  4. "There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?" — Pam Beasley

  5. "I feel God in this Chili's tonight." — Pam Beasley

  6. "I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do." — Michael Scott

  7. "Dreams are just that. They're dreams. They help get you through the day." — Michael Scott

  8. "You cannot learn from books." — Dwight Schrute

  9. "And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do." — Michael Scott

  10. "I am ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me." — Dwight Schrute

  11. "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." — Michael Scott

  12. "I guess I've been working so hard, I forgot what it's like to be hardly working." — Michael Scott

  13. "An office is a place where dreams come true." — Michael Scott

  14. "Sometimes you have to just be the boss of dancing." — Michael Scott

  15. "I'm gonna do this. You know why? Because I'm awesome." — Kelly Kapoor

  16. "I understand nothing." — Michael Scott

  17. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." — Andy Bernard

  18. "Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way." — Michael Scott

  19. "The only time I set the bar low is for limbo." — Michael Scott

  20. "I have been Michael's number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like Mozart's friend." — Dwight Schrute

Michael Quotes From The Office

These Michael Scott quotes provide the perfect mix of humour, awkwardness, and a dash of wisdom which you'd expect from this unique character.

  1. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

  2. "'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretzky" - Michael Scott

  3. "Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised."

  4. "Would I rather be feared or loved? That’s easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

  5. "Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me."

  6. "People say I am the best boss. They go, 'God, we have never worked in a place like this before; you're hilarious,' and 'You get the best out of us.'"

  7. "I am an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and have worms."

  8. "The worst thing about prison was the Dementors."

  9. "I understand nothing."

  10. "Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I do not know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."

  11. "I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!"

  12. "I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke."

  13. "I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream."

  14. "There's no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke."

  15. "An office is a place where dreams come true."

  16. "Well, well, well, how the turntables."

  17. "Did I stutter?"

  18. "I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday."

  19. "I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

  20. "I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do."

WhatsApp Quotes From The Office 

Do you have a friend who is a die-hard fan of “The Office”? You can book Salim and Sulaiman to send those quotes to your friend. Imagine your friend is getting a message from a famous celebrity Wouldn't that be amazing? 

  1. "Tackling work with the energy of Dwight's beet farm."

  2. "'I am the lion' in the business jungle." — Inspired by Dwight Schrute

  3. "Living life with Michael's optimism and Dwight's determination."

  4. "Channeling the undeniable wisdom of Michael Scott."

  5. "Finding beauty in ordinary things, just like Pam Beasley."

  6. "Life's too short to not declare BANKRUPTCY!" — Homage to Michael Scott

  7. "I may not be superstitious, but I'm a little stitious." — In honor of Michael Scott

  8. "Exploring the confluence of professional rivalry, friendship, and love, Office-style."

  9. "I'm not in the business of caring about feelings. All about making sales." — Tribute to Dwight's quote

  10. "The Office taught me to embrace every work day with a hint of humor and a lot of caffeine."

  11. "The Scranton Strangler's got nothing on my workload."

  12. "Either be an office prankster like Jim Halpert, or don't bother at all."

  13. "Seeing the world with Dwight's wisdom, Michael's brilliance, and Pam's creativity."

  14. "Running my world like Schrute Farms – with an iron fist and a soft beet."

  15. "My boss might not be Michael Scott, but my workdays are just as entertaining."

  16. "Navigating life with as much 'wisdom' as Michael Scott."

  17. "Remember, an office is a place where dreams come true. Still dreaming."

  18. "Difficult times ahead? 'Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.'"

  19. "Just trying to be the Jim to my Pam in this Versailles-like bureaucracy."

  20. "Over here, setting the limbo bar high, Michael Scott style."

Note: These quotes are inspired by the TV series "The Office" but they were not used in the series. They are made up for use as WhatsApp statuses.

Video Message Quotes From The Office 

Do you have a friend who is a die-hard fan of “The Office”? You can book Ehsaan Noorani to send those quotes to your friend. Imagine your friend is getting a message from a famous celebrity Wouldn't that be amazing? 

  1. "That's what she said!" — Michael Scott

  2. "I am Beyoncé, always!" — Michael Scott

  3. "Why are you the way that you are?" — Michael Scott

  4. "There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown." — Michael Scott

  5. "Webster's Dictionary defines 'wedding' as 'the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.'" — Michael Scott

  6. "It's never too early for ice cream, Jim." — Michael Scott

  7. "I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong. And if you don't like it, you can leave." — Michael Scott

  8. "Parkour!" — Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute, and Andy Bernard

  9. "Assistant to the Regional Manager!" — Dwight Schrute

  10. "I feel God in this Chili's tonight." — Pam Beesly

  11. "Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." — Jim Halpert impersonating Dwight Schrute

  12. "Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." — Andy Bernard

  13. "It's like I always say: 'K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple, Stupid.'" — Kevin Malone

  14. "The worst thing about prison was the Dementors." — Prison Mike

  15. "Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." — Jim Halpert impersonating Dwight Schrute

  16. "I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted." — Kevin Malone

  17. "You couldn't handle my undivided attention." — Dwight Schrute

  18. "Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are too flashy. So I'm forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls." — Angela Martin

  19. "You should enter it in the Dundies." — Pam Beesly

  20. "Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice… strike three." — Michael Scott

Digital Message Quotes From The Office

Do you have a friend who is a die-hard fan of “The Office”? You can book Preeti Jhangiani to send those quotes to your friend. Imagine your friend is getting a message from a famous celebrity Wouldn't that be amazing? 

  1. "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." — Michael Scott

  2. "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." — Michael Scott

  3. "Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!" — Dwight Schrute

  4. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you actually left them." — Andy Bernard

  5. "Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way." — Michael Scott

  6. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." — Michael Scott quoting Wayne Gretzky

  7. “Remember when people used to say 'boss' when they were describing something really cool. Like, 'those shoulder pads are really boss man.' 'Look at that perm, that is so boss.' It's what made me want to become a boss. And I looked so good in a perm and shoulder pads. But now, boss is just slang for jerk in charge." — Michael Scott

  8. "The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors." — Michael Scott

  9. "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam." — Pam Beesly

  10. “Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.” — Andy Bernard

  11. "There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?" — Pam Beesly

  12. "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica." — Jim Halpert

  13. “An office is a place where dreams come true.” — Michael Scott

  14. "Should have burned this place down when I had the chance." — Michael Scott

  15. “It’s a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive.” — Michael Scott

  16. "People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections." — Michael Scott

  17. "Every so often, Jim dies of boredom." — Jim Halpert

  18. "It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand." — Michael Scott

  19. "I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good." — Michael Scott

  20. "I'm not usually the butt of the joke. I'm usually the face of the joke." — Michael Scott

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